A couple of years ago, upon careful observation of friends and family, I've realized that most people can be classified as belonging to one of three groups: those who speak to hear themselves speak, those who speak when it is assumed someone else is listening, and those who speak generally only when spoken to. Furthermore, it is often the case that an individual belonging to one of the aforementioned groups will envy members of another group.

Living in Berkeley, CA for almost a year has solidified my belief in this classification of humans based on their speaking-listening ratio. Generally, it has been painfully obvious that people here are more likely to belong to the first group mentioned above than people from my home state of Georgia, who more often fit into the latter two categories. Seemingly everyday, the loudest among us in Berkeley make themselves heard, whether they think others are listening or not. I often stroll down to Sather Gate and Sproul Hall (the main South Gate and administration building made famous by the Free Speech Movement of the 1960s) on my way to lunch, the bank or the post office. Along the way, I am accosted by untold dozens who are freely trying to sell me their ideas. It is a well known fact that graduate students in the sciences are not interested in being solicited by undergraduates or the liberal activists that occupy Sproul Plaza on a daily basis; however, these people cannot tell the difference between myself and some unsuspecting individual who may be duped into their cause. All they see is another candidate to join their crusade against [insert mainstream media headline here]. The most humorous and apparent Category 1 types yell out expletives and hurl insults at passers-by, regardless of whether those people are even paying attention. Granted, at Georgia Tech (where I conducted my undergraduate studies) we had a Sproul Plaza-esque centre in Skiles Walkway; however, outspoken Category 1 activists were the exception, not the norm. If any of these classic Berkeley types showed up on Skiles, there would be considerable talk amongst the students during the day about such an event.

What people choose to display on their bumper stickers is also a telling sign as to the Category to which the driver belongs. Back in Georgia, the most common bumper stickers included tributes to President Bush and honor roll children, college decals, bands, and the occasional initials signifying a favorite place to visit (i.e. JH for Jackson Hole, WY). Here in Berkeley, the bumper scenery is quite different. More often than not, you'll see some snide political comment about the War in Iraq, the incompetence of our Commander in Chief, or the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, as well as a plethora of tributes to multiculturalism and diversity, in addition to the ubiquitous college decals and band logos. The bottom line: people here want to be heard, even when they are not speaking.

So which group are Berkeley Category 1 types most envious? I suspect these folks are jealous of the Category 2 individuals: those who speak to an audience. Maybe if the liberal left had some listeners, they wouldn't have to scream so loud. Interestingly, many would consider Berkeley, CA to be the bastion of liberal ideology in America (e.g. Code Pink's War on Warriors, to be discussed at a later date). So don't they have all the audience they couuld ever want? This is where my theory hits a dead end; I would assume that once these people found listeners, they would gravitate towards behaving as Category 2 folks would. My hypothesis, for the time being, is that most of them are screaming so loud that they can't tell whether people are listening or not. Tune in next time when I discuss my first-hand experience with the Code Pink at the Marine recruiting center on Shattuck  Ave.